The Birth Of A Monster

Today,something really scary happened.Today,I witnessed the birth of a monster,or rather,the awakening of a monster.The monster is me. Have you ever hated someone because of some aspect of their behaviour? And, have you ever felt you becoming the very person whom you hated for their behaviour? That is what happened today with me. I was at Inorbit Mall with my good friend Titus. We were there to have some pizza, play games, and watch The Book Of Eli. As usual, we over-ordered, so we had to take a lot packed. We had planned to take it into the theatre, and have it there. We also bought some Sprite bottles for drinking, because the ones inside the theatre are dead costly!!As we reached the theatre entrance, the security guard at the gate asked us (politely) to deposit the pizza and sprite bottles outside with him, as it was not allowed inside. I got pissed,really pissed. My anger took over, and in front of everybody, I said "What the fu*k is this?Bloody hell!!". I didn't abuse the security guard, but I was pretty pissed off. Later, with reluctance, I left the stuff with him, and went in with Titus. He was quite, and then, he told me that what I did was wrong. He told me that even the security guard is bound by his superiors, and for us, it might be just a pizza and sprite, but for him, it could be his job. I suddenly bounced back to reality, and I realized the gravity of my actions. I slowly, with guilt, approached the security guard, and apologized, and he forgave me with reluctance. I never could enjoy the film.
Memories of rich arrogant farts who yell at security guards passed in my mind, and I remembered how I was filled with disgust at the thought of them. I realized, that I became that very person, despite the promises I made to myself that I would never be. I let my anger take over, and so, a monster of me was born. But what scared me was that I didn't recognize this arrogant behaviour until my friend told me. Was I becoming blind to my true self? In the next few years, would I look into a mirror and not recognize myself? Would I become a shadow of my present self, and arrogant fool who gave a damn only about himself? Would I continue to change, and let the people I care about move away from me and hate me? Would I be the very person I swore that even for a million dollars I wouldn't be? All these thoughts still torment me, but most of all, I can't forgive myself for what I did. Am I a monster? Will I remain a monster? Can I fight this monster? I hope I find the answers soon.......