'Today' is not yet over. It's just evening. It may not be fair from my part to talk about the day's happenings, since the day isn't over yet. But before something sad comes my way, I want to share my joy, the joy I possess due to the fact that I came close to finding Utopia today.
In order to share today's events, let me first take you back in time. An annual tournament held nationwide, known as Horlicks Wiz Kids, chooses three people to represent the particular State. But due to the fierce competition coupled with immense display of talent, the judges decided to allow the participants to start a social movement to do good, as part of a project which would determine their qualification. A friend of mine was one such competitor. She started "Take My Hand". It was simple. Supporters would go and spend time with certain underprivileged people, with the sole aim to spread happiness. After all, happiness too is important, as important as money or food or shelter.
So began the fortnightly visits to Advitya,a humble abode where the mentally challenged are taken care of. I missed the first visit as my coaching class came in the way. But for the second visit, I decided to go, despite the coaching class being there. I would rather spend an hour spreading cheer than solve Pseudo Force and Trigonometry sums.
I went with a nervous heart.I thought I would be depressed seeing the mentally challenged. But I was proven wrong. I went there with my friends to spread joy, but I think it was the people in Advitya who spread the happiness to us. I walked out happy. That place was, in every right, Utopia. Everywhere you looked you saw smiling faces. All of the residents were way older than me and my friends, but they bonded and enjoyed with us. I guess mentally, all of us were on the same page as all of them. All of them loved to sing, dance, tease each other. They had the innocence which is lost in all of us so called "intelligent" people. When we left, they all asked us to come the very next week. I remember a man, Cyrus, whom I had befriended. He told me, "Next time you come, I'll sing better than everybody else". He showed the joy of a child being given the most prized toy of all.
I guess words can't describe the joy, and the beauty of God's work. The joy I felt was the very same joy I feel after watching a good film. This is the first time something in this real world gave such joy. You could get lost in it.
I came back home, and like always, I spent my joyous moments with my beloved films. Million Dollar Baby. I shall not go into the details, suffice it to say that I've never seen human emotions so honestly portrayed. Its been good. Now the final twist.
I did not tell my mother or father that I went to Advitya. I told them that I had an extra class. I feel they know I was lying, judging by their stern behaviour and impatience all of a sudden. The thing is, I like keeping certain things to myself. Maybe "certain" is an understatement, maybe there's a lot. I am happy that I write my thoughts down, be it unending teen angst or a poem about a butterfly. I'm happy that I have this blog to post my writings. It gives me space. Even if I'm known to be someone I'm not, it's good because I know who I am. I share my writings with only a handful of people, that too is an exaggeration in its own right. But it keeps relationships special. It may be that I want someone to know what I feel. But even that, I now feel, is unnecessary. You are your own hero, idol, villain, guide. But if you are reading this because I asked you to, then please remember, I trust you. I just wanted to share a little of my joy, a little of my soul. I can never express it completely, for it has to be experienced and not read. Happiness exists in the unlikeliest of places, in the smallest of rooms and most hidden corners. So does Utopia. You just need to be patient, and pointed in the right direction.
I'll never forget today......
Well,that was last monday,27th of September. Since then, I realised my prediction did come true, regarding my parents that is. A whole shitstorm (pardon my language, shitstorm really matches the situation) did happen, I got all my saved cash taken away, my computer rights taken away, along with my cell and joy. Yes, it was hell. But after all was said and done, I can still say this- I'm not guilty. Is it my fault to feel the need to keep things to myself? It's not like I went to do drugs or drink booze :P
So, before going to bed that day, I said a thank you to God, for the whole day's experiences, the good ones as well as the bad, for if it weren't for the good experiences, the bad wouldn't be there either. They are like two sides of a coin. You don't get one side as a single package, you get both, and its just a matter of time before the coin toss results in the other side. It is true, too much happiness and you will cry. But I'm okay with that. Cus a few moments of happiness to me is worth more than my life itself.....
That's it for now. Goodnight dear reader :)
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